ALL TIME SMS

Shaadi ke dn ghoonghat uthaaya aur poochaa madam ka naam kya hai ? Jawaab – Naam  da nai pata vya maan nal kitaa ieee .

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Sab yad tumhi ko karte hai , tumare aane ki aahat se bhi darte hai, na jite hai na marte  hai, app hume plz batain ki… app close – up kyon nahin karte hai.

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Some girls are like cigarettes- they come in packs, get lit, make u puff, go out unexpect-edly, leave a bad taste in your mouth , and still they satisfy.

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Shaam hote hi yeh dil udaas hota hai , toote khwabo ke siva kuch na pass hota hai, aapki yaad aise waqt bahut aati hai, jab BANDAR koi aas pass hota hai.

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Shahjahan ne Tajmahal ki  Har deewar ko dekha Har meenar ko dekha Har Kaleen ko dekha Har khidki ko dekha Aur bola ….Maa kasam !! Bahut kharcha Ho Gaya !!!

Love love love love love Love love love love love hari om ! Kabhi bhagwan ka naam bhi liya karo…..

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Aahat si koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho . Hawa koi lehrayi to lagta hai ki tum ho. Ab tum hi batao, kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho ?

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Agar tum kaho to Tumhare Liye, Aasman Se Chaand Taare Tod Laau. Agar Tum Kaho To Tumhare Liye , Aasman Se   Chand Taare Tod Laau. Lekin Tum Unka Karogi Kya ??

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Jise dil diya wo Dilli chali gayi, Jise paar kiya wo Italy chali gayi. Khudkushi karne chala, Zalim bijali ko haath lagaya, Bijali hi chali gai.

Aap ki sanso se chalti hai sanse hamari .Aap ki dhadkan se dhadkata hai dil dil , Baat to bahot karni hai aap se, Par aata hai jyada bill !

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College ki chardiwari mein ajeeb se khel hote hain, Khel hi khel me dilo ke mel hote  hain , Class room jaise  jail hota hai , Is liya to aashique har saal fail hote hain.

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Dhokha Mila jab Pyar mein, Zindagi Mein Udasi Chhaa Gayi Socha tha Chhod Denge Is Raah ko Par Aaj Muhalle Mein Dusri Aa Gayi .

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Zindagi mein teen cheezen kabhi bhi aa sakti hain….PASA…..MAUT….Aur…Aur…

Aur….Mera SMS!

Osama Bin Laden’s favourite song: “ main nikla , plane leke , o raste  mein , Newyork mein, ik mod aya , mein W. T.C. tod aaya….

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Maine puchha chand se , “ dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin “.Chand ne kaha ,saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya .”

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Zindgi mein tum bahut aage jaaoge , kyonki jahan bhi tum jaooge , sab kahenge , chal be chal aage chal.

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Bhagwan se Scooter manga… Car di ; Ghar manga….Bangla diya ; Dost manga… toh tumhey diya …. Bhagwan ne is bar aisa zulm kyon kiya.

Aaj didar, kal Yaar , parso pyar, phir ekrar , aur phir intzar , Phir – takrar , phir –darar , saari mehant bekar , aur akhir mein – Ek aur davdas at beer- bar !

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Cycle Se Cycle Takraye To wheel Nikal Jata Hai, Ladke Se Ladke Takraye To DIL NiKal jata hai .

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Jhooth  Kise Se Kya  Kahe , Hum Akele Reh Gaye , Yaro Ne Sabane Ghar Basa Liya . Hum Kaware Reh Gaye.

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Suraj Hua Madham, chand bhi chalne laga , mein thehra raha , zamin chalne lagi sajna kya yehi pyaar hai ?? Nalayak,  Yeh pyar nahi EARTHQUAKE hia ! BHAAG!

Santa standing in balcony without shirt. Banta : Wah Santa ji kya chest hai . Santa : Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apani bhabi di dekh.

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Maine poocha chand se… Kabhi dekha hai mere Yaar sa hasin ….. Chand bola …1555 entries found !

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kya bindaas hawa chal raheli hai, birdy gana ga raheli hai , cow log grass eat raheli hai , shane log sms kar rahele hain , aur dhakkan log sms padh rahele hain !!

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Khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye . Mile mujhe aur mera ho jaye. Karun SMS ladkion ko naam tera aae. Maar tujhe pade aur kaleja mera thanda ho jae.

patni apne pati sey boli –“ Nahin tum mujhe pyar nahin kartey . Agar tum mujhse pyar kartey hotay tou tumne kisi aur sey shaadi ki hiti.”

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“Kyun janaab, aap 20 minute sey phone pakdey khadey hain, Ek shabd bhi aapke sey nahin nikla . Zara receiver chhoud dey, main jaldi mein hoon.”  Kya aap dekh nahin rahey hain, main apni patni sey baat kar raha hoon.’’

Train ruktey hi baccha khada hokar zor- zor sey chillaney laga-“ O Coolie ! O Coolie!” is par uskey pita ney naraazgi mein ussey kaha –“ kya paagalon ki tarah bol rahey ho? Tumhein tou bolney ki bhi tameez nahin hain. Is tarah kehtey hain kya ?” Bacchey par iska phoran asar huya aur wo “ Dadaji , dadaji” kehkar coolie ko bulaney laga.

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Doctor ney patient ko warning detey huhe kaha- “ Aapko neeyam (rules ) sey rehena padega.” Patient-“ Lekin main tou hamesha neeyam mein hi reheat hoon.” Doctor- “ yeh aap sahi nahin kar rahey hain . kal shaam ko hi maine aapko ek ladki key saath park mein dekha tha.” Patient- “ yeh tou mera hamesha ka hi mera hamesha ka neeyam hain.”

Ek aadmi apne dost sey bola –“ meri patni mera itna khayaal rakhti hain ki kal mehmaano key baad jab maine ussey kaha ki garm paani jaldi laao, tou usi samay usney paani garm kar diya.”Dost – “ Waah ! Lekin us samay beychaari ko garm paani karney ko pareshan kyun kiya?” Aadmi –“ kyounki main garm paani sey hi bartan dhota hoon.”
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Masterji-“ Batao,gadhey aur aadmi mein kya fark hain.’’ Student –“ Aadmi ko gadha kaha ja sakta hain lekin gadhey ko aadmi nahin kaha ja sakta.”
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Ramesh –“ Mahesh, tu itni deyr sey kya pi raha hain ?’’ Mahesh-“ Akal ki dawa.”  Ramesh-“ Akal ki dawa phir tou mujhe bhi de de.” Mahesh-‘ 100 rupaiye ki hain.” Ramesh –“ Arrey ! ye tou sharbt hain .” Mahesh – “ Dekha , dawa khaatey hi akal aa gayi.”

Ek dharm Sambandhi School mein masterji baccho ko samjha rahey they ki  sacchey dil dil sey Bhagwan  karney sey Weh hamare sab paap maff kar deta hain. Yeh samajhaney

Key baad unhonay poochha – “ Acchha batao baccho, Bhagwaan hamare paape maffa karey, uskey liye humein kya karna chahiye?” kuchh deyr chup rehney key badd ek ladka bola – uskey liye humein sabse pehle paap karana chahiye.”

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pehla aadmi – “ maff kijiye bhai sahab. Main aapko ghoorey bina reh na saka . sirf moonccho (moustache) ka fark hain warana aapki surat 100 per cent meri patani sey milti hain.” Doosra aadmi- “par meri tou moonchhey nahin hain .” pehla aadmi – “Lekin meri patni ki tou hain.”

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Seema- “ kal maine tumhari kavita papa ko dikhayi tou wo bahut khush huhe .”Rajesh-“ kya suchmooh !” Seema – “ Haan aur bolay acchha huya, jo maine is paagal ko apani beti nahin di.”

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“Aap hi meri pati ki company key boss hain.” Ek patani ney sawaal kiya . Boss- “ Arrey ! Aapne kaise pata lagaya?” Patni –“ Bahut asaan tha. Mere pati ghar mein baccho ko hansaney key liye aapki hi nakal kiya kartey hain.’’

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pati office jaaney ki taiyyari mein hain . patni khaana bananey mein lagi hain . pati –“ main kitni deyr sey tumse pooch raha hoon ki khaana kab tak taiyyar hoga ?” patni –“ 2 ghantey” sey keh tou rahi hoon ki 10 minute mein taiyyar ho jaayega.”

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 Bittu-“ kya keley (banana ) key saath uska chhilka bhi khaana chahiye?” Masterji –“ Haan, ussey haath- paer swastha rehtey hain.” Bittu-“ Bilkul sahi ! Lekin khaaney waalon key chalney waalon key.”

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Master ji –“ jo kaam tumne nahin kiya . uskey liye tumhein saza bhi nahin milegi.” Chintu-“ Thank you masterji . Aaj maine home work nahin kiya hain.”

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Pita-“ main acchhi tarah jaan gaya hoon ki  tum kitney aalsi ho. Tum chahatey ho ki main tumhare liye koyi khoobsurat sa bangla banwa doon, jismein tum bed par baitthey- baitthey button dada diya karna aur tumhri mann chahi cheez tumhare paas pahuch jaaye.”Beta-“ Nahin – nahin. Mujhe aisa bangla bilkul nahin chahiye. Ye button dabaney ka chakkar kaun karta phirega?’’

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Ek aurat subzi  khareedney key baad dukandaar sey boli –“ Agar subzi kharaab nikli tou paki- pakayi waapas kar jaaungi.” Dukandaar- “ Tou phir uskey  saath  2- 4 roti bhi le aana.”